Being Present is A Gift

It is hard to believe we are coming to the end of the year already.  It seems like once we hit Halloween, the rest of the year just flies by…which is why I chose the topic of being present for my final post of 2017.

I am taking time off to be with family over the holidays. I don’t get to see my extended family as often as I’d like due to distance, so visiting them is a source of joy. However, it can also be stressful: lots of people crammed into a relatively small house, many (usually too many) tempting, high-calorie treats, and difficulty keeping up with my usual exercise routine and sleep habits. It’s only for six days so I usually give myself a little leeway, knowing I will get back on track once we return home. However, there is one practice that I won’t sacrifice even when I travel and that is my daily morning meditation.

Sure, I may have to make some adjustments when I travel – finding a quiet place to practice, and choosing a time when I can do so uninterrupted. Fortunately, I am an early riser whereas many of my family members like to sleep in, so I am usually able to finish meditating before anyone else is awake. I love the peace and stillness in a house when everyone else is still deep in their dreams.

The reason I maintain my practice even when I am out of my normal routine is the benefits I reap from taking time to sit and be still. I have noticed a profound change in how I engage with the world since I started meditating regularly. I am calmer and less reactive. I don’t sweat the small stuff nearly as much as I used to (and believe me, I used to worry about it ALL). I have created space – literally and figuratively – that allows me to experience life in a different way. I am more aware of what’s happening to me and around me – and the coolest part is that I notice this awareness. Some people describe it as living more consciously. I prefer to describe it as living more mindfully versus mindlessly going about my day, missing out on most of what transpires from dawn to dusk.

My wish for all of you in 2018 is to find ways to be present in your life. One of the best ways to do this is to do one thing at a time. Study after study has shown that multitasking is a myth – the brain cannot focus on more than one task at a time. It merely switches back and forth quickly from task to task, giving us the illusion of productivity. In reality, it actually takes more time to complete the tasks we’re switching between and we make more errors than when we focus on doing one task at a time in order.

So, during this holiday season, as well as throughout the new year, consider the following advice as you go about your day and see if you notice a difference:

When sitting, just sit.

When eating, just eat.

When walking, just walk.

When talking, just talk.

When listening, just listen.

When looking, just look.

When touching, just touch.

When thinking, just think.

When playing, just play,

And enjoy the feeling of each moment and each day.

From “When Singing, Just Sing – Life as Meditation” by Narayan Liebenson Grady

 

 

 

A little bit about me

It all started with being a fat kid. I know that’s not PC in today’s world, but it’s the truth. From a pretty young age, I used food for comfort – to deal with stress at home or in school, to celebrate happy events and to block out sadness and avoid other “icky” emotions. I was a classic emotional eater (and it was oh-so-easy with an Italian grandmother who loved to cook). I also wasn’t very active and so naturally, the pounds started piling on. As you can imagine, being overweight as an adolescent is NOT fun. I was teased and nagged about my weight, struggled to find clothes that fit, and judged myself for how I looked and felt, inside and out. Good times!

Fast forward a couple years to junior high. I made a friend who accepted me for who I was and helped me learn to love myself. She encouraged me to try out for school sports, and not surprisingly, once I became more active, the weight gradually started coming off. This was about the same time that Oprah had her first public victory with weight loss. Remember the episode where she pulled out the wagon loaded with fat equivalent to the pounds she had lost? I was glued to the set and wrote in my journal that day that if Oprah could do it, so could I. I did succeed at losing weight and getting fit – and that experience sparked a lifelong interest in wanting to help others be healthy too. Hence, my current role as a health coach.

Unfortunately, like Oprah, I have struggled most of my life to maintain a healthy weight – mostly because I love to eat! In college, I gained and lost the “freshmen 15” at least once or twice (those Ben and Jerry’s® pints were my kryptonite). When I finally entered the working world after finishing grad school, I had the time, money and energy to eat healthy, join a gym and get back in shape.  I lost weight for my wedding, then gained more than I needed to with my pregnancy a few years later. I turned to a weight loss support group to lose the baby weight and for the most part, kept it off as I entered my forties. For the past few years I have gained and lost the same 5-10 lbs, so I finally decided to break this vicious cycle by adopting a mindful approach to weight management. I’ll be writing about that in some future posts, but more and more evidence is showing that traditional “dieting” does not work. In fact, it works against you.  Weight management is as much about how you eat as what you eat.

Weight management has probably been my biggest challenge health-wise, but I have also struggled with anxiety and stress management (which definitely contributed to that emotional eating habit I mentioned previously). I have read self-help books and pursued counseling in the past, but the best thing I have done for myself in this arena is adopt a daily mindfulness meditation practice. I’ll be blogging about that too! I was first exposed to the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program in 2010. For the first several years, my practice was a bit erratic – I’d keep at it for months at a time and then fall off the wagon, so to speak. It is in the last year really, that I found the right tools and resources for me that have helped solidify my practice. If I could give only one piece of health advice to anyone who asks, it would be to adopt a daily meditation practice. To me, it is the closest thing we have to a “magic pill” as it can have a beneficial impact on so many areas of your health and life.

The reason I share my story is twofold – it gives you a little insight into my own journey toward optimal health and demonstrates that we all have the power to own our health and make choices every day that lead us to a healthy, happy life.